Six Signs to Predicting Behavior
One of the most common, most serious challenges we face in life is not being able to read people accurately. To function effectively, humans must be able to predict what others will do and trust them accordingly. But if you hand out your trust like candy, you can lose the things you treasure most. That’s why it’s essential to be able to size people up accurately.
When you’re sizing people up, you learn a lot about their character: their traits, tendencies, desires, fears, affections, strengths, weaknesses, and skills. All of that information will help you determine whether you can trust them, whether in business or love.
Over my two decades as a behavior analyst at the FBI, I was able to implement and refine a reliable system for behavior prediction that could be easily taught and learned. This system works because it cuts to the core of human behavior and rests primarily upon a single fundamental truth: People will almost always act in their own best interests. Some people think that’s a cynical read, but I disagree. Self-interest is the heart and soul of human survival, the wellspring of achievement. And acting in one’s best interests can include any number of virtuous, altruistic goals.
These six signs of behavior prediction will help you determine what people think is in their own best interests and, from there, anticipate how they will act:
Sign #1. Vesting: Does this person believe they will benefit from your success?
When people see your achievements as a positive reflection on themselves, they’ll help you however they can. They’ll voluntarily link themselves to you, protect you from harm, and find ways to promote your interests.
I like to vest in the success of as many people as is reasonably possible because when I do, they usually vest in my success — as well as the success of others close to me — and my effectiveness increases exponentially.
To find out if somebody would be a good mutual ally, talk to them about their immediate goals, necessities, concerns, and passions, and see if they fit with yours. If they do, tell them. The other person will probably jump all over it. The urge for partnership is a primal need.
But if you do need to persuade somebody to be your ally, don’t bother. They need to see for themselves that they’ll benefit — and want to.
Sign #2. Longevity: Does this person think they will have a long relationship with you?
Time equals trust.
If people think they will be linked with you for a long time, they’ll be very motivated to build a mutually beneficial relationship with you, and you’ll be able to predict their important moves. They will be far more likely to care about your opinion of them and more apt to believe that you can help them. They’ll try harder to fulfill their promises and act in your best interests.
Sign #3. Reliability: Can this person do what they say they will? And will they?
You can’t predict how someone will act if they don’t show signs of reliability, a quality that’s composed of competence and diligence. Just because someone wants to do something for you, it doesn’t mean they’re competent to do it. And even if they are, it doesn’t mean they’re diligent enough to get the job done.
False claims of competence are most commonly due to a lack of self-awareness, and not necessarily indicative of arrogance or deceit. It’s common for Type A people to think they can do things better than they really can, and many people have a tendency to overrate their achievements. This is why it’s important to do your due diligence to independently verify the person’s specific skills and achievements.
Sign #4. Actions: Does this person consistently demonstrate patterns of positive behavior?
What people do is almost always more revealing than what they say. Actions are especially indicative of predictable, trustworthy behavior when they back up prior claims because this shows that people are serious about doing what they say they’ll do. When their actions don’t match what they say, stay away.
But somebody’s past patterns of behavior are not a foolproof indicator of how they’ll be in the future. Current behavior is always more telling than what happened in the past. Among the most important current behaviors that indicate positive character traits are honest communication, lack of secrecy, consistency between actions and the descriptions of those actions, transparency, and signs of diligence.
Pay attention, also, to how a person communicates their past or current actions. Plain talk is good; simplicity reveals, and complexity conceals.
Sign #5. Language: Does this person know how to communicate in a positive way?
Many people think they can enforce their agendas by blaming others, being rude or bombastic, exaggerating, manipulating, using debate tactics, or being evasive. A person’s negative communication style primarily reflects their fear, but it usually comes out sounding angry or hurtful — even if it’s couched in humor.
The single most revealing linguistic method for measuring character is to monitor people’s language for nonjudgmental, validating statements about others. Effective communicators ask a lot of questions, are easy to understand, don’t try to manipulate, and are almost always looking for points of connection.
Finding good people through speech is fairly simple: When you hear it, you’ll know it.
Sign #6. Stability: Does this person consistently demonstrate emotional maturity, self-awareness, and social skills?
Many good people just don’t have the emotional stability to do the things that others need from them, which can make them unreliable and unpredictable. That instability might stem from prior trauma, mental health issues, substance use, emotional or physical abuse, stress, or exhaustion — or any combination of these and other factors.
Compassion is important. While you have no moral obligation to serve the needs of people whose emotional instability limits their own opportunity, it’s worth remembering that emotional stability exists on a continuum. If you deepen your own emotional stability, you might be surprised at how stable others around you become.
Purchase the course: Looking for more information and training on “Behavioral Assessment” and the Six Signs to Predictable Behavior? Check out my online training on “Sizing People Up.” Click here to find out more:
